Nadiya, 42 years old

Nadiya, 42 years old, from Uzhhorod, wife of a serviceman who is currently defending Ukraine, mother of two daughters.

What do I feel? It is difficult to find the words to describe or explain your condition. A photo is circulating on social networks: a female figure in a bloody sweater with the inscription: «I’m fine.» Accurate visualization.

My husband has been my main support in life for many years. In the first days of the war, he joined the army as a volunteer. It was a conscious, deliberate joint decision. I stayed at home with the children, as they now pathetically like to write and talk to keep their back. At first, I was overwhelmed by the all-consuming horror: the war IS going on in the country, death, destruction, relatives are far away and there is not always a connection. Then came an emotional stupor, and I am stiil in it.

Family life has always been perceived by me as something usual, something that is self-evident, even routine. How important it is to be together is fully understood only in a long separation, living with constant fear for a loved one. And these feelings are almost impossible to reveal and show in front of someone. I learned to disguise myself with a smile, empty words, and high-spirited cheerfulness. It’s hard to keep a «poker face» all the time, but it’s still easier than explaining something.

The support of «Tree of My Life» is vital. Sharing traumatic experiences, sharing your own fears in a group of people who have experienced and continue to experience what you feel every day. Space says: «We are here for you!» and provides psychological help to us, the families of military personnel. It is here that you can be yourself, not hold your feelings «in your fist», not hide your tears, not close yourself from emotions. And to live on, because the understanding comes that life always wins — this is actually priceless.